Saturday, December 26, 2009

gloomy xmas

found this wonderful statement
in my little brother Yeremia Bagas facebook status:
"christmas is nothing like christmas with incomplete family"


Friday, December 18, 2009

5 minutes looking back

2009 has been an accomplishment year for me. dreams finally come true, doing stuffs all out, n indeed l freaking love what im doing. dancing in what so-called my own lala land, where rainbow is my curtain and music is my daily rice. not too long for me to realise that music, dance, art and surely God, is my aim of life. and it keeps growing. those things, i finally do here, a place where God has put me to learn so damn much.

no longer a night fellas, never got drunk no more. it has been 6 months i reckon, not even step my feet on fortitude valley. more likely a church girl i would say. LOLS. got involved in every occasion that i could think off. i know for some people it is HELL ANNOYING to see me in every painting that painted on the wall. for those who got annoyed, i trully appologize. i just cant help to grab all candies that has come to me.

2010. im done here. somehow i want to get out from my comfort zone. this place has comforted me like literally. i will still be here, for those who's worry (turns out no one will. lol). but it will more like me my self, drop the bow and pass it on to the next rainbow. i wil place my self behind the curtain. it is time for me to spread my wings, get on to the next level. dare my self to take this challenge to go on to the next level.

Friday, December 11, 2009

i recommend u to read between the line before u judge me


me building a wall. indeed. i run.

Nice decission girl. Live with it. Ur life is here, aint nowhere else not even ur hometown. Ur here now, earning ur life. If u keep looking back, n keep rewinding how happy u r back in ur hometown, just go home n never go back here. U better appreaciate wht u ve got. So this is wht u shud du, do d best for everything here, then God will decide where exactly ur belong to.

“jgn kalah sm keadaan dhis” - ciko

Thursday, December 10, 2009

sing my heart out like the whole world is deaf

when the gig comes true

i never know what exactly i want as things are gradually changing. but one thing remains the same, it has always been my pleassure to run all the way the bridge with the guys only to catch up the time for check-sound. Those precious irreplacable moment. cant imagine when each of us start leaving the stage, and yes, its goin to be started, in 2 weeks time.

Friday, November 27, 2009

the undetectable master

whos tht? rocking on the stage, playing as if the world is gonna end tmrw. smart n attractively desirable. puts all the awesomeness into the fingers. but hey watch out, apparently it seems gonna leave the stage soon

Monday, September 28, 2009

head over heels

the boyf has just tag me his new picture with his new leather jacket on fb. n when i saw it for the first time i was like holly sh*t. the leather jacket is waaay too cool for him, LOL. well to be frankly, he looks so damn good on this jacket. gosh, boy whyd u have to be so gorgeous when im so miles away from u?

another sick fact

dear God, can i have something that last forever?

or maybe i can have it for my xmas present God? ive been doing good this year, err.. sort of. i know that we always have choice so we should make it happens, but sometimes i found out that reality turns to be dissapointing, no matter how hard i try. when i am ready to say hello, i also have to be ready to say good bye, as good things really dont like to stay long.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

miles away from those i love

Random pictures, time flies

JavaJazz, March 2007

Cika's 17 party, October 2007

after prom night - the announcement "LULUS", June 2008

Bandara Soekarno Hatta, October 2008 - leaving

Solaria 2009 - glance visit to my hometown

amazing how time flies way toooo fast, n watch how events and things come n go passed me by.

going home will be like the most impossible thing i wish for now. mom, dad, bro, hows Sinai? i wanna come with u guys so badly to b frankly. guys out there,hows ur preparation for the wedding on sunday? been picking the dress or the hair do? n hey Today's Tomorrow, u guys ready for Ricci Cup's stage? i wish i cud come to those events. been missing alot of events, wht next?.n you, yes you boo, hows life so far without me?

Wednesday, September 16, 2009


its pretty exhausting, keep missing someone that much n keep arguing things with the one we miss alot, imagine how good it would be, having him around physically. seriously. i get into the phase when word starts fail me that i dont have the appropriate words to describe how distance turns us to be. he is just more than a girl could as for, yet somehow i just cant stop being so demanding. maybe this time my ego begins to take over my mind. in the other hand, ridiculously, i cant stop. i cant give up, and i wont. cus somehow i know he's just more than worth it. cliche indeed. however, today or tomorrow, i believe this unconditional relationship will stil work out.

i wish everything is just going to be as fine as rainbow

Saturday, September 5, 2009


i just felt dat everything seems so cold now. the distance finally works. i know that ive been missing alot of things, n i know that i cant keep up. it is not everybody's fault, believe me it is not. its just how the world spins, or maybe its just me. it would be too naive if i wish that everything would be the same as before i left. cant get over the fact that being far away from them means being forgotten. it is my fault that i keep looking back while they keep on walking without me, n finally get used to it. newbies start to come, n i am finally replaced. well ts just normal. its just the ideas of immortality. shit it hurts, i want my friends back - ego mode on

Friday, September 4, 2009

"A combination of global warming and El Nino have climate experts predicting this year could be Australia's WARMEST in more than a decade."

effing gosh! Ausie will be like hell this summer, which is completely deffinitely HOTTER than Indo. i wish i could go home !!!

cut cut u cut me out

sorry for the inappropriate holes on the legging. try rip it on my own. lol. o btw sorry guys for being too antisocial. promise that i will make it up after this week, when i finish all of my shits. lol. miss u guys

Thursday, August 27, 2009

whats been happening lately? #1. assignments

heloooo faculty. the real nightmare apparently has come and haunt me. faculty is effing tough. i cant even sit back n relax for at least one day. spent my whole weekend in uni doing all of my project n assignments.

#2. Pesta Rakyat @ Brisbane

17th of August,
the independence day of my country
n yea, here's the party held by my country's community called Pesta Rakyat
heres's heaven. i can find all of my country's food that i cant find it here. YEAY.

#3. sooo long diploma

whts been happening lately?
officially graduated from diploma. FOR REAL ! :p

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

sorry guys

im sorry for not updating this blog. im having bad weeks lately. the unfinished assignment n project, not to mention the unfinished fight. im currently in the most stressful phase i would know. cant imagine that faculty cant be this tough. i promise i will update this blog whenever i can deal with this worst weeks, ow i got heaps of story to share as well :). cu maybe in a week or two ..

Monday, July 27, 2009

i understand, i always do.

hey there, the guy in 'the-cure' shirt, the one who's sitting right behind the drum. do u miss me like i do? do u even think bout me even just for a while?

dont u mind if u drop by n try to stand on my shoes? its been hurting me so bad lately. im trying to live without u, dats all i got. as i know it so well dat u cant always be around for me. nevermind, i understand, i always do. what else i can do? even im too tired to speak it out, nothing more i can do but being patient. u got many things to bear of, then u just forget that u have something else to bear too, its called 'a-girl-friend'. but nevermind, i understand, i always do. funny dat now i forget how it feels when ur around. lol.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

i wont heal unless i let go

'looking back' still become on of my well-known guilty pleasure. tons of questions n statements like "if only i could turn back time" or "wht if i were still there" and "how could u?" are still covering me. i just cant understad why cant i just let go n being thakful for everything dat ive got now?

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Gold Coast

just got home from Gold Coast for 1 night n 2 days trip. exhausting but fun tho. altho visiting beach during winter its deff not a good idea, but everything was nice. too tired for writing much. more photos r going to be posted soon after they upload it on fb. so long guys.

nb: sending u guys a BIG THANKS n TRULLY APPOLOGIES, for canceling the 5 degrees plan as i didnt bring my paspor dat nite. sorry ..

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

the wedding in the harbour

as u can imagine. the wedding in the harbour. soooo developing my mood in a good way. what a trully dreams-come-true-wedding for Felicia and Arvin. congrats guys :)

Thursday, July 16, 2009

fear = insecure

the most common thing in this acknowledge-phase finally come up n covering me. this kind of feeling fulfill my mind with several unfinished questions. i want to explore situations and pick up every possible answer that i can get. to be frankly, it drives me crazy. i want to ask people, i want to be mad, i want to scream. but i know, it wont give me the truth, n it will just give me tons of negative thought. what i can do is just live with it, try to ignore it, and hoping that when i start to trust, i wont be fooled (again). God will let me know the things that i need to know, in His time. everything that God wants it to be, just be it. at least i will learn some lessons that worth the life. every tears that will drop, every shame that will come, are never worthless. what goes around, comes around. God speed.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

the ballad between shadow and holes

i have been walking through it like forever and when finally it becomes real, i just realize that the shadow still wont disappeared, yet it tend to grow bigger. i know somehow it feels like it has the greater right to stay there, in between. reality check. it should know that its just about the time when the sky getting darker and force it to disappear, as shadow cant stay forever. its not that the sky acts mean. everybody must be feeling the same way about it, n indeed, its been proved. they wont be bothered if its not jumping over the line. since it starts crawling and trying to fit in in every small hole, competing for heading the top. somehow, it hurts n threatening. i cant help wondering n ask myself 'how come?'

sick fact

how forever is it going to last?
as ive seen too much dat smtimes faith throws two lovers together, only to rip them apart

Thursday, July 9, 2009

when it happens to be 'missing him so bad'

dear mr chef,
the drummer,
my dearest boyfriend :p

wht makes me miss u the most?

#1. ur smile, sugar

#2. when ur holding my hand tight

#3. u know i just loooove staring at u while ur driving

#4. n when ur playing with ur drum as well for sure darl :)

#5. ur silly moves n ur jokes :p.
simply, our quality time together in ur car. haha.

#6. our time for singing n keep the music together everywhere

#7. not to mention, everytime i accompany u with ur band in the studio,for practicing or recording. u know that i enjoy it sooo bad

#8. ow yea yea, our favourite day, monday n wednesday, when it happens to be picking ur little sister on her english course.

n more, more, n even more. it will b unfinish post. lol. as everything dat uve done, makes me miss u more more n even more :p
we'r gonna b fine sugar, i knew it.

miss u as always, love.

Today's Tomorrow

finally its ON. lol. dammit. this is the band, the Today's Tomorrow. yes yes, they made it into d top 400 of LA LIGHTS INDIEFEST. im trully proud of u guys.

n yea, especially u sugar, my favourite drummer of all :) love.

dear my friends

i present u guys a song dat clearly reflects whts inside my mind. n maybe it can be called as an apology, from me :)

Dig ~ Incubus

We all have a weakness
But some of ours are easy to identify
Look me in the eye.

And ask for forgiveness
We'll make a pact to never speak that word again
Yes, you are my friend.

We all have something that digs at us
At least we dig each other.
So when weakness turns my ego up
I know you'll count on the me from yesterday.

If I turn into another
Dig me up from under what is covering
The better part of me.
Sing this song!
Remind me that we'll always have each other
When everything else is gone.

We all have a sickness
That cleverly attaches and multiplies
No matter how we try.

We all have someone that digs at us
At least we dig each other.
So when sickness turns my ego up
I know you'll act as a clever medicine.

If I turn into another
Dig me up from under what is covering
The better part of me.
Sing this song!
Remind me that we'll always have each other
When everything else is gone.

Monday, July 6, 2009

aw aw aw aw. silver mini dress is deff soooooo on. im wondering where can i get some of these. maan , totally craving for it. anyone, late bday present please? *finger crossed. LOL

Monday, June 15, 2009

im sorry Lord for d things ive made it

dont get dissapointed when God doesnt give u wht u want..
for He knows d best time for u to hav it

God has a reason for allowing things to happen

we may never understand His wisdom

but we simply hav to trust His will

we face all challenges, beyond all problems

cause we believe the more pain we overcome, the more stronger we become

just hold on, n be strong

God is with us

Hillsong - Still

Saturday, June 13, 2009

harbour town

i went to Harbour Town on tuesday. wht took u soooo long to upload d picts guys? lol. i promise dat i'll put those picts whenever it appears on my fb. lol. so those stories will come with d picts. so wht did i promise u? ow, my bday stories n my goldcoast trip stories. LOL. remind me folks, ok? so wht did i got?
dirty white military jacket. it only worth like 40 bucks. maaaan, n its thick. lovely winter collection

caramel fringe bag. sooooo cute. ive been hunting it like months. n i got it now. dun tell me how much is it. guess it folks :P

i just loooove Harbour Town. i swear dat i'll b back, for getting my own stuff, n dat time, i only think for my own pleasure, unlike now. LOL. u'll kno wht i mean guys, in d right time. xxx.

Monday, June 8, 2009


im losing wht people so-called the sparks. dunno why. im wondering. distance? naaah. its just too cliche to be wondered, or its just simply cause its too cliche to admit? well, im losing d excitement. i kno dat i shud b madly happy, like i only need to count down d days, just before d day. yet i just cant help wondering, wht my life wud b dat time. i meant, so many things , we think ,dat dun need to b argued now. so wht does it mean? does it mean dat we will so much things to be argued when we do hav dat status? well, truthfully, its freaking me out.

so wht will happen? in dat status. do we still hav this butterfly inside our stomach when u said dat 3 magic words? will everything still b ok? can we bear d distance like now? will u still b this understanding? we all kno, it happens lots of time. no matter how sweet when u started it, things will get worse in its time, n we never kno. sometimes, so many things dat is shown better than explained. lol. so wht can i say? only time will prove.

i had my bday ystday. so how was it? well im going to tell u d stories till they tag my pictures on fb. lol. i can say dat i got punk'd like more than 3 times. anyway, i love u guys so. bday away from home. feels like i need to start new tradition when im away from home :) xxx

Sunday, June 7, 2009

im back baby

ok, apparently someones been hacking my blog account, NOT. lol. yes yes true dat. its him d drummer n mr chef dat i often mentioned here, he's d one who replaced me for a while while im away from this blogging thingy. so how was he? not bad eh? im sorry for d mess, as he's still a rookie tho. yet, in particular i think we all agree he wrote better content than i do. lol.

im sorry for being away, i fell in love with my exam those days. lol. but now

im back

whats new from me? hmm. well i fogot to mention dat my fav band, Today's Tommorow is ON d indiefest festival stage. PROUD OF U GUYS. u can see their video on youtube by monday, i wish there will b no 'delay' *crossed fingers

whts new again from me? bad news. i can do all of my fnal exam, but yeaa, i cudnt get into d 'board'. n i didnt get as high as i want. well d announcement will b still on next thursday but i even can guess it now. lol. funny dat i think dat i can do better.

wht else? hmm, i skipped d party. yea. the guys will deff kill me when i meet them. how come i missed d party? well im just not in d mood for going out. seriously. i need some 'me-time' after those exams. i knoooo, its not just me for being too anti social .LOL

i dun feel like writing, lol. not in d mood for everything. whts d hell wrong with me? think i can explain. xxx

Friday, June 5, 2009

wah keerreeeen

hari ini adalah hari yg bersejarah buat gw 
karena hari ini tu pengalaman ptama gw lipsing di LA lights indiefest
sempet slip lagi tadi
moga gada adegan dimana gw slip yak
gila dah tadi
tadi tuh udah panas, pikiran gw udah cape
ditambah lagi macet 
trus dompetnya kiki ktinggalan
gpp dah yg penting nyampe ke sana
ampe sana daftar ulang n mnunggu lagi
panas2 mnunggu
n gw lupa si soul nelpon 2x
hp gw silent jadi ya ora kdengeran
untingnya ciko ol di bb yawda gw suru soul nelpon gw
beeehhh denger suar dy adem bed dah
serasa suasana jadi kul *lebay ah
gw yakin si soul sekarang udah blajar n tidur
yawda tibalah saat dimana band gw dipanggil buat fto
sesudah fto lsg buru2 ke studio
ya ampun jantung rasanya mo lari aje ni dari dada
deg2an cooy
akhirnya gw ansos buat bdoa
minta pimpinan Tuhan
itu gw di blakang panggung saat dsuru siap2 bdoanya
yawda dy bilang
camera roll .ACTION...!!
lsg laguny diputer
gw ikutin aja
dengan segala ekspresi gw kluarin
tapi di tengah2 ada sempet salah n slip
moga2 gw ga di take pas disitu
beehh keren bgt
rasanya gw ktagihan
pengen lagi soul
asli deh
pas udah lagunya selesai
gw ansos lagi buat bdoa
thx thx GOD
wah  keren abis
setelah itu lsg cabut ke tebet buat makan
tapi macet gila2n
u know jakartalah
makan di tempat gw gatau tuh namanya apaan
gw pesen nasi goreng mercon
ga jauh dari namanya
ampe sekarang mules2
ga tahaaann
oy lupa di pom bensin gatot subroto saat nunggu kiki ngambil dompet
si abenk nitipin mobilnya disitu 
jadi pas abis makan
kita kesitu lagi buat nmenin abenk ambil mbl
tapi ciko kesasar
mending kesasar daripada gw gatau jakarta sama sekasetelah mereka dateng
pulang deh
gw lewat di mobil
si aldi yg bawa
really2 thx to GOD
mmm tar mungkin hari senen vidionya baru disiarin
tapi kiki udah rekam kq
n dy mo tag2 in
blajar yg bnr ya soul

Thursday, June 4, 2009

deg2an besok

wah besok adalah hari terbesar buat gw
soul doakan gw yak buat besok
byar ga gugup

Wednesday, June 3, 2009


wah gokil deh hari ini soul
ga segokil kmaren si soul
tapi ini gw ngerasa seneng bgt
pas bangun pagi si serasa ngantuk sekali
malas sepertinya 
aturan gw brangkat bareng ciko karena mama mo make mobil ke rs
tapi mama ga mo nganter ke pasar moderen byar di jemput
tapi yawdalah
yawda gw brangkat aja ke kampus
ampe kampus jam stengah 8 
karena gw kelas jam 9.05 yawda gw tidur bae dah di myc
mimpiin lo soul (maap di msn lupa soul gw crita hehe)
gw mimpi lo pulang tapi selama lo disini lo gamau nmenin gw tiap hari 
beeehh stressnya gw
lsg aja gw bangun n ke kelas
kelas seperti biasa
kelar gw makan n lanjut kelas 
tadinya mo ampe jam stengah 6 tapi karena dosennya baik jadinya kelar jam 4 dah
akhirnya gw balik tapi ujan
gede bgt
rumah gw kena banjir tapi cuma semata kaki lebih dikit dah
gw buka pager sendiri lagi beh air masuk ke mobil smua
untungnya ga banyak aer yg masuk pan
tnyata abenk udah drumah gw buat ambil bukti email indifest buat di kasi ke bokapnya
yawda abis itu gw ol bae
eh tb2 lo nyapa soul
yawda chattingan bae kita hahhahaa
ga lama ama pulang
dy minta di prin hasil uas sem 2 gw 
lulus smua huhuy thx GOD
mama senenng  bgt ampe dipeluk gw
yawda tar katanya dapet hadiah
ditawarin maunya apa
gw bilang bae tserah mamalah
n gw bilang kalo terios buat mama aja
city buat gw jadinya hahahhaha asiiik
wah gila hari ini seneng bgt deh gw mank berkat Tuhan tu pasti ada kalo kita minta dengan sungguh2 dan percaya
i love u Jesus

Monday, June 1, 2009

senang sekaliii Thx GOD

soulmate sebelumnya maap soul kmaren gw ngisi blog lo..
wah kmaren tu bnr2 rebek abis.....bnr2 abis
kmaren nykp gw ngmg katanya pada hari kamis mendatang dia akan menelpon UPH buat mastiin gw kuliah apa ngga
waduh udah rencana gw cabut gagal
drama gw gagal
gw udah stress bgt deh
mo ngmg ama personil juga ga enak.
setelah itu gw greja sore soul
digreja gw diem aja ama abank gw
muka madesu...lebih malahan
tapi gw disitu ga brenti berharap
gw minta ampunan atas dosa2 gw
gw sungguh2 berdoa
n gw ga bisa tidur
baru tidur jam setengah 1an
yawda tadi ni soul
abis kelas gw ke myc buat nungguin ciko kelar kelas di myc
gw sempet lewat bntar
akhirnya gw bangun dan dapet ilham buat nelpon indiefest
tadinya gw nelpon tanpa pake kode 021
ga bisa nyambung
yawda gw pakein aja tuh kode
Puji Tuhan
akhirnya gw ngmg  
"apa ini betul LA lights indiefest.?"
"ya betul"
"ini saya ega drummer today's tommorow, mm untuk global TV itu hari kamis yaa..?"
"iya betul"
"bisa ganti hari ga,karena saya hari kamis pagi ada ujian"
"ow ga bisa tu,banyak si yg ujian,yawda ujian aja dulu kami tunggu koq"
"ow bisa yaaa makasiii mbaaaaa"
wah itu ga kebayang senengnya kaya apaan
lsg gw ucap syukur
n gw kaya cacing kepanasan di myc
Tuhan bnr2 menolong gw soul
akhirnya ciko dateng n gw bilang
dy senengnya bukan main
jadi gw ama ciko bisa kuliah dlu
Thx GOD abis
n lsg gw krumah ciko, ga lupa jemput gepenk
itu sekitar jam stengah 1an
main ps drumah ciko
jam 4 jemput abenk
latian di bintaro,studionya bagus deehh
abis itu kelar latian lsg jemput priska
tepat jam 8 gw ampe rumah n ngmg ama nyokap soal ini n dibolehin
Puji Tuhan
abis itu lsg mandi
kalo ingin sesuatu mintalah pada Tuhan
bdoalah sungguh2 n pasti akan dijawab
ini adalah kesaksian gw soul
ga mungkin ngga
semangat blajar soul
jgn ol2 dlu yaaaa
pasti lo dapet nilai tertinggi kalo lo andelin Tuhan

Saturday, May 30, 2009

oi oi oi

ni gw ega si mr chef n drummer (kalo kata adhis hehe)
baru bangun ni coooy
ni blog gw yg gantian ngisi
masalahnya ni yak 
adhis mo konsen blajar dlu
ga mo tu dy buka2 laptop ngeri ke bagi 2 konsennya
oke dah
maap2 kalo ade kata2 gw yg salah nih


been soo long we have d time for our quality time. we both r too busy for taking care our own business in our own continent. me n my final exam dat is going to be sooo on, whereas he n his campus activity n also his band. we often hav this time when i hav slept infront of my laptop with my msn still on while he just reached home. yes, i completely miss him. how long is it going to b till i can b by his side? not so long i guess *wink.

however, no matter how hard this distance is going to be, one thing remain. his face is getting blur n blur each day, but not our heart :) xxx

Friday, May 29, 2009

deff completely craving for it

i want smthng like this for d next wedding party lol

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Goldian n Cheril Wedding

Cheril n Goldian
they are the most romantic couple ive ever seen
just like fairy tale
wish u all d best guys
wish u live happily ever after
we love u :) :)

n this is wht im wearing dat nite

really had good time :)

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

soo not in d mood

gee, im having this phase dat people so-called writer block when i deff dun hav any idea or simply d mood to write smthng. well not all tho, as i still can write smthng for my blog *wink. but seriously, this article actually dued ystday but until now, i still dunno wht i want to write. not dat i dun want to have the 'brainstorming'. i did. but yea, didnt work. man, wht can i write? whts d good structure? whts d good humor dat i can put on it? whts d important stages?

get over it girl, its one ur passion, keep going, dun let urself lose. esp when it comes to d heart business :p

dont u miss high school? cuz i do

i just found out dat maybe everything dat happened in high school shud stay in high school. as none of them r so lasting like forever. well one or two might survive, but most dont

Monday, May 25, 2009

when i finally scream 'enough'

d thing is no matter how hard i try,
i'll never b good enough for u

go away n bring ur mouth with u,
tons of ur words dat keeping me down is deff d LAST THING i need

keep talking, cz i aint listening
n apparently, u r talking with my back

the girls sleepover

silly, dumby, dumbly

we r just being silly