Tuesday, May 19, 2009

im really mad. did i say mad? wrong. im FURIOUS

this time im really mad. for real. MAD. ANGRY. or even FURIOUS. just dun mess up with me, or even simply just dun talk with me when u only can make more STRESSFUL. i meant it. why dun u just b there with me when my world seems soo dark? isnt dat so simple? be there with me. ive been pushing away my ego like everytime only to bring u up. can u just do it for me now? i need u.

wht am i worried bout? ALOT. shoot, tears again. perfectionism starts killing me. i got 2 presentations tmrw n i really craving for a 7 DAMMIT. i really want to b perfect. recomendations presentation, global business presentation, not to mention d reflective essay n qcd report dats going to b handed back tmrw. man, wht if its below my expectation?

wht else? o, obviously, my weight problem. seriously. someone is like KEEPING ME DOWN all d time, even when my heart screams ENOUGH. i wish i cud put my finger down on my throat n throw everything up. enough, i said. can u just please take me for who i am? o one thing. u said dat ur here for me. but did i see u just ran away with bunch of ur friends when u completely kno dat i just cant stop for being stressful? there, i said it.

so pls dun say dat u r here for me when in fact u were not

yes. i completely mad. dun ask me why. cause i bet u kno it so well. God i desperately need ur help. i meant it. i cant do these things alone. n pls, i wish i cud stop bothering things dat is not worth it to b bothered.

why does everything seems harder when im learning how to b thankful all d time?
xxx

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