Friday, June 18, 2010

mars n venus

sometime in twitter
naftaliaadhis moon can somehow be distant and cold. oh well, like Mars even has a moon. does it hav stars instead?
hanya_joan @naftaliaadhis at least Mars could be sweet and nice though its far away from venus. Venus sometime nvr know how Mars missing bein wit Venus

words fail me ...

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

back off

for you who have set me as ur checking point of ur achievement, you who have set me as your objective to beat me in the first place, please, for the love of God, leave me alone. and i would completely appreciate if you dont bring my name for comparison in every achievement u have got.

favor to ask

God, ive been doing a long distance relationship with my boyfriend and it is incredibly suck. please, I dont want to do it with You.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

prayer

Dear God,
i know You have been watching me like forever and You can see, how my pride hurted. i thank You for the people who have been so nice to me, for the chances that You have given for me. and i thank You, For the people that have been taking me for granted for some reasons, people who have been ignoring my thought, people who never take me seriously because of my limitation, because of my incapability. God, i beg You, heal me. Give me understanding that we, human, have our own part in this world.

Dear God,
You know how hurted it is when You feel like You cant count on anybody but Yourself. I know it feels like i forget to be grateful for people that You have given to me to help me. You know what it is about God, You know it so well. Words cant describe how i feel. You see beyond my heart. You see my tears during the night, and no one hears. i should have known that i cant count on nobody but You. not even the one that i always look up to Forgive me God. Forgive me that i prefer to count on something that i think more real than You. Who am i to think that You are surreal.

Dear God,
i will be one year older in few days, and i feel like i am supposed to feel special or something. no, i dont. i have this big dark shadow in my heart called emptiness. i cant move on. i simply cant.
anyway, 20 is a big deal, i dont think im ready to have this number in my forehead. Give me wisdom God, You know that im not even close to it. no im not.

Dear God,
You know what bothers me the most lately. You know how this future thingy has scared me like totally. You know how afraid i am not to finally get what i have been working for. You know how terrified i am not to have things i want the most. You know it all God. stand by me, give me the strength and serenity to accept things i cannot control. You know that world does not revolve around me that i cant always get what i always wanted. God, i need more strength, cause im just a human, fragile.

Dear God,
as usual, words fail me. if only i could talk to You face to face, like bestfriends always do. if only You could hug me and whisper me that everything is gonna be allright. Cause now, i desperately need one.

nb: what took You so long to heal me? is it inappropriate to ask for an instant healing?

thank You
Amen.