Tuesday, October 18, 2011


i need You to tell me right away. what You want me to do. not by coincidence, not by inner voice, not by people telling me so. i want You personally telling me, what is right. cause iam done guessing, i am done asking for signs.

Sunday, October 16, 2011


so this is it, iam planning a run away, to chase something that i once took for granted. iam hoping for the best, but i dont prepare for the worst.
no, i dont plan for any plan b whatsoever, i am not planning to fail.
this has to work.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

day in a life

my day starts at 10 am in the morning

9.30am - 3pm : work
5pm - 8pm : uni
9pm - 10 pm : a nap. yes i call it a nap.
10pm - 3am: assignment (red: procrastinating)
3am - 4am: sleep
4am - 9am: the most productive hours - assignment


Wednesday, October 5, 2011

could not bear

what makes this ten times worse is that life goes on. it just hurts so much living life pretending that nothing is wrong, pretending that everything is just fine, pretending that you are still there, waiting and fighting for me. now that we are over, i dont want to be normal for a few moment, can i just run away?

Monday, October 3, 2011


it hurts so much that i could not find any word to write.
i thought all these days i have been counting down to forever,
but apparently it leads me into goodbye.
yes. i never thought i would say goodbye to you.
i never thought you would be the one with a white flag.

so thank you, for a very remarkable 27 months together.
thank you Made Rayga Prayogi Inggas. for those 2 years fantasy.
we have been fighting like there is no tomorrow
now that it is over, please excuse me. i am drained.

yes distance, let me make this clear for you.
we give up.