Wednesday, March 3, 2010

stranger

there's a stranger, who had been so dumb enough to get into the game even people have warned her before. there's a stranger, who had been soo arrogant, thinking that she was different and she could make it til the end. no one could ever stop her, even the storm strikes so bad. there's a stranger, who flied too high with her expectation but fell of by the gravitation. she should have known that the sky has the limit and her heart has its own bound. She tested her own patience and get burned by her own curiosity. n now she is dying. dying by her own mind, dying by the endless pain and now dying to leave. but it is too late. the doors have been closed, and there's no way that she could leave the circle.


stranger

there's a stranger, who had been so dumb enough to get into the game even people have warned her before. there's a stranger, who had been soo arrogant, thinking that she was different and she could make it til the end. no one could ever stop her, even the storm strikes so bad. there's a stranger, who flied too high with her expectation but fell of by the gravitation. she should have known that the sky has the limit and her heart has its own bound. She tested her own patience and get burned by her own curiosity. n now she is dying. dying by her own mind, dying by the endless pain and now dying to leave. but it is too late. the doors have been closed, and there's no way that she could leave the circle.


Thursday, February 18, 2010

anniversary is like wine, the older the better

oh yes u are soo permitted to bring friends :)

anniversary is like wine, the older the better

oh yes u are soo permitted to bring friends :)

Monday, February 15, 2010

living interdependently




Once again, i thank You
Once again i pour out my life

i thank God for giving me a very nice companion. big thanks to heaps of my friends who helped me moving out. especially Peter, Kak Novi, Ci Iin, n the guys who helped to take my stuffs up into the second level. yes, its huge enough to be carried. not to mention Ci Iin and Joan who have been soooo nice allowing me to stay for one and a half months. thanks. thanks.
million of thanks. :)



living interdependently




Once again, i thank You
Once again i pour out my life

i thank God for giving me a very nice companion. big thanks to heaps of my friends who helped me moving out. especially Peter, Kak Novi, Ci Iin, n the guys who helped to take my stuffs up into the second level. yes, its huge enough to be carried. not to mention Ci Iin and Joan who have been soooo nice allowing me to stay for one and a half months. thanks. thanks.
million of thanks. :)



Thursday, February 11, 2010

the sparkle needs to stop

i should stop counting the days
like how many days left then i can finally meet u
i should stop looking back
looking back and wondering how good it was to have u physically
i should stop living in blue
blue and gloomy seems like i have nobody left caring for me here
i should realise that my life is just more than waiting
or missing
you.
i need to move on.
not literally move on
but 'move on'


love,
ur LDR survivor

the sparkle needs to stop

i should stop counting the days
like how many days left then i can finally meet u
i should stop looking back
looking back and wondering how good it was to have u physically
i should stop living in blue
blue and gloomy seems like i have nobody left caring for me here
i should realise that my life is just more than waiting
or missing
you.
i need to move on.
not literally move on
but 'move on'


love,
ur LDR survivor

Friday, January 29, 2010

i miss u so much that it hurts

"cause u know i'd walk a thousand miles if i could just see u tonight"
Vanessa Carlton - Thousand Miles

sometimes i just cant bear the fact that we r miles away separated. i just realise that all these days, i have never done with it, i am just err.. running away. help me, comfort me, my feet is just too tired to run, my heart is just too tired to bleed, and my body is just too tired to pretend. i have failed to smile whenever i wake up cause i realise that it is just another same days without looking u in the eye. i am putting my mask down and u can see that i have never been strong, i was just pretending that i am. two years ahead. two years. two years ahead to live as a pretender. nevermind, life is always fake anyway. The fact is when u cry, when u even grout, the world will still revolve and too bad, it does not revolve on u. grass will still be green, violets will still be blue, life will keep on going, and he will still be a continent away. i can only force my self to believe that everything will be beautiful in His time. it is true.

"Kesabaran berbuah manis" - Ciko

i miss u so much that it hurts

"cause u know i'd walk a thousand miles if i could just see u tonight"
Vanessa Carlton - Thousand Miles

sometimes i just cant bear the fact that we r miles away separated. i just realise that all these days, i have never done with it, i am just err.. running away. help me, comfort me, my feet is just too tired to run, my heart is just too tired to bleed, and my body is just too tired to pretend. i have failed to smile whenever i wake up cause i realise that it is just another same days without looking u in the eye. i am putting my mask down and u can see that i have never been strong, i was just pretending that i am. two years ahead. two years. two years ahead to live as a pretender. nevermind, life is always fake anyway. The fact is when u cry, when u even grout, the world will still revolve and too bad, it does not revolve on u. grass will still be green, violets will still be blue, life will keep on going, and he will still be a continent away. i can only force my self to believe that everything will be beautiful in His time. it is true.

"Kesabaran berbuah manis" - Ciko

happy Australian Day guys :)







went to mount Nebo for the Australian Days, and did the 2 km hiking. not quite a hiking though, it was more like an evening walk, and photograph session. lol. i dont know. soo damn exhausted , eventhough mine is not really tough actually. 2 km walk was just nothing compared to the guys who have successfully done the 5skm walk. how was the 'waterfall' my dear fellas? LOL

happy Australian Day guys :)







went to mount Nebo for the Australian Days, and did the 2 km hiking. not quite a hiking though, it was more like an evening walk, and photograph session. lol. i dont know. soo damn exhausted , eventhough mine is not really tough actually. 2 km walk was just nothing compared to the guys who have successfully done the 5skm walk. how was the 'waterfall' my dear fellas? LOL

Thursday, January 28, 2010

am i too small? or did i do something wrong?

maybe the thing is,
no matter how hard i try,
n how i am dying to make my self adequate,
no, i wont ever ever be good enough to deserve what i think i deserve.
never.

tell me, what am i supposed to do?

am i too small? or did i do something wrong?

maybe the thing is,
no matter how hard i try,
n how i am dying to make my self adequate,
no, i wont ever ever be good enough to deserve what i think i deserve.
never.

tell me, what am i supposed to do?

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

fit in


every feet has their own shoes to fit. so please, try to stand on my shoes, and walk with them for miles.
then u may judge

fit in


every feet has their own shoes to fit. so please, try to stand on my shoes, and walk with them for miles.
then u may judge

Friday, January 22, 2010

fake smile

God, are You hiding somewhere? Your daughter is lost

fake smile

God, are You hiding somewhere? Your daughter is lost

beer will always do me good




had incredibly great lunch with the girls with garlic bread as our entree and a cheesecake, carrotcake, and mudcake afterwards. also had a beatiful dumpling beside casino in the evening. then finally had a chiller moment at The Beach House in the midnigt, indeed, ended up with jars of beer and wedges. i was deff fattening my self. i feel like walking home.

"People come and go. when they are gone, it means their duties in your life are over. but some of them are still there in your heart no matter how far and how long they've been gone. " - Joan

beer will always do me good




had incredibly great lunch with the girls with garlic bread as our entree and a cheesecake, carrotcake, and mudcake afterwards. also had a beatiful dumpling beside casino in the evening. then finally had a chiller moment at The Beach House in the midnigt, indeed, ended up with jars of beer and wedges. i was deff fattening my self. i feel like walking home.

"People come and go. when they are gone, it means their duties in your life are over. but some of them are still there in your heart no matter how far and how long they've been gone. " - Joan

u can see the fireworks up in the sky, yet not on my face


the nye of mine was a blast one. but still, smthing is missing without having it all around with my parents. seriously, i never know that new year can be this gloomy without them

u can see the fireworks up in the sky, yet not on my face


the nye of mine was a blast one. but still, smthing is missing without having it all around with my parents. seriously, i never know that new year can be this gloomy without them

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

new year resolution


1. treat people like i want to be treated:
- stop canceling things last minute
- be more sensitive
- try not to please everybody
- respect people more
- stop judging people
- be good to all, cause everybody is unique.
they cant help that they r annoying :p
*common sense, be good to receive better. karma does exist!
2. better GPA.
* please God, i beg u. this is crucial for my next study plan.
3. serve You more,
with a grateful heart, for your glory, not mine :)
4. spread my wings, n stop dishing off opportunities
build connection, get out of my comfort zone, i know i have to!
5. GET A JOB.
- prepare my CV n cover letter, take every volunteer job that has come to my ibox
6. stop bluffing about my future plan
i have learned so much that the more i talk about it, the more impossible for it to come true
7. be more faithful, more understanding so we can make it works boo? :)

frankly, i hate making new year resolution, cause i know it wont work. lol. oh gee, so this wud be one of my resolution, my last resolution is:
8. make all of my resolutions come true

new year resolution


1. treat people like i want to be treated:
- stop canceling things last minute
- be more sensitive
- try not to please everybody
- respect people more
- stop judging people
- be good to all, cause everybody is unique.
they cant help that they r annoying :p
*common sense, be good to receive better. karma does exist!
2. better GPA.
* please God, i beg u. this is crucial for my next study plan.
3. serve You more,
with a grateful heart, for your glory, not mine :)
4. spread my wings, n stop dishing off opportunities
build connection, get out of my comfort zone, i know i have to!
5. GET A JOB.
- prepare my CV n cover letter, take every volunteer job that has come to my ibox
6. stop bluffing about my future plan
i have learned so much that the more i talk about it, the more impossible for it to come true
7. be more faithful, more understanding so we can make it works boo? :)

frankly, i hate making new year resolution, cause i know it wont work. lol. oh gee, so this wud be one of my resolution, my last resolution is:
8. make all of my resolutions come true

Friday, January 1, 2010

case of immortality



source: i can read
via: http://yesnowait.tumblr.com/page/2

case of immortality



source: i can read
via: http://yesnowait.tumblr.com/page/2

Saturday, December 26, 2009

gloomy xmas

found this wonderful statement
in my little brother Yeremia Bagas facebook status:
"christmas is nothing like christmas with incomplete family"

AGREE :'(


gloomy xmas

found this wonderful statement
in my little brother Yeremia Bagas facebook status:
"christmas is nothing like christmas with incomplete family"

AGREE :'(


Friday, December 18, 2009

5 minutes looking back

2009 has been an accomplishment year for me. dreams finally come true, doing stuffs all out, n indeed l freaking love what im doing. dancing in what so-called my own lala land, where rainbow is my curtain and music is my daily rice. not too long for me to realise that music, dance, art and surely God, is my aim of life. and it keeps growing. those things, i finally do here, a place where God has put me to learn so damn much.

no longer a night fellas, never got drunk no more. it has been 6 months i reckon, not even step my feet on fortitude valley. more likely a church girl i would say. LOLS. got involved in every occasion that i could think off. i know for some people it is HELL ANNOYING to see me in every painting that painted on the wall. for those who got annoyed, i trully appologize. i just cant help to grab all candies that has come to me.

2010. im done here. somehow i want to get out from my comfort zone. this place has comforted me like literally. i will still be here, for those who's worry (turns out no one will. lol). but it will more like me my self, drop the bow and pass it on to the next rainbow. i wil place my self behind the curtain. it is time for me to spread my wings, get on to the next level. dare my self to take this challenge to go on to the next level.

5 minutes looking back

2009 has been an accomplishment year for me. dreams finally come true, doing stuffs all out, n indeed l freaking love what im doing. dancing in what so-called my own lala land, where rainbow is my curtain and music is my daily rice. not too long for me to realise that music, dance, art and surely God, is my aim of life. and it keeps growing. those things, i finally do here, a place where God has put me to learn so damn much.

no longer a night fellas, never got drunk no more. it has been 6 months i reckon, not even step my feet on fortitude valley. more likely a church girl i would say. LOLS. got involved in every occasion that i could think off. i know for some people it is HELL ANNOYING to see me in every painting that painted on the wall. for those who got annoyed, i trully appologize. i just cant help to grab all candies that has come to me.

2010. im done here. somehow i want to get out from my comfort zone. this place has comforted me like literally. i will still be here, for those who's worry (turns out no one will. lol). but it will more like me my self, drop the bow and pass it on to the next rainbow. i wil place my self behind the curtain. it is time for me to spread my wings, get on to the next level. dare my self to take this challenge to go on to the next level.